Growing As A Leader: Thinking (and Writing)

February 21, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by @boetter

The personal growth series continues (for a few more weeks on Tuesdays). We’ve talked about why personal growth is important, reading, and filing. Now it’s time to move to thinking.

Thinking. There’s a tough one. Don’t I think everyday? Biologically, yes. The question really is, am I thinking on the right things?

Our economy has moved from a world of skill knowledge to a world of intellectual knowledge. What I mean is that our economy used to be driven by what you know how to do. It was all about manufacturing. Can you build a car? Can you fix a computer? More and more, that’s not the case anymore. Business, industry, and, yes, ministry, is paying a premium on intellectual knowledge. This is about the ideas that one can create.

That’s where thinking and writing come into play.

Church is ever changing. To reach out to those that we serve, and to be effective at it, we need to be innovative in our thinking and ideas. The same old model of ministry and church does not always work. Yet, too many of us, me included, stick with the model we know, sometimes to the detriment of our ministry.

Spending intentional time thinking out ideas is really important to yours and my success in ministry. How do I do this?

All of us are struck with a good idea for our ministry. It happens quite often. That initial idea, though, needs some tweaking and massaging to make it a better idea. It is not a perfect thought when it comes out of your brain. It needs help.

When I have a good idea, here are some things I try to do with it:

  • Write if down: If I don’t write it down, I lose the thought. I think I’ve lost a ton of ideas that were really good because I never wrote it down. Write it down!
  • Spend 15-30 minutes with the thought: It’s amazing how some concentrated time on a single thought allows me to make a good idea even better. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Oh, and keep writing down what you are thinking.
  • Talk to others about the idea and get feedback: This is my favorite. My thoughts and ideas always get better when I talk them through with others. This does two things for me. One, it helps me articulate my thought better as I try to explain it. Two, feedback from other people helps me refine and rework the idea to make it even better! Oh, and keep writing down the ideas and feedback people offer you.

It’s amazing how doing these three things can allow me to expand my mind and ideas. The problem is that we are in a culture that is all about do, do, do! We have tasks galore! If we are to truly be effective leaders in ministry, then taking some time out to think these thoughts is essential.

What’s one good idea you’ve come up with in the past month? Have you spent any time thinking on it?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With: ,

Growing As a Leader: Filing

February 14, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by Daveybot

Continuing to share about personal growth, this week, we’re going to talk about filing. I know what you’re thinking. “Great. Filing. Just what I need is to file more stuff.” Well, it’s not what you think.

If you’re like me, you have a terrible time retaining all the great stuff that you learned while reading. I highlight and highlight, and all too often, the book goes back on the shelf never to be opened again. Did a magically memorize everything I read or highlighted? No.

I created a filing system to help me remember the good stuff I’m learning. My system is quite simple: I create simple word documents by subject, like equipping, success, personal growth, youth ministry, etc… As I read more and more good stuff, I create more and more files. I wait until I have something to file under a certain category before I create a file. For instance, I didn’t create a “theology” file until I had some good content to put in that file.

Then whatever I highlight (or whatever I learn), I “file” away into the appropriate word document on the subject. Basically, I re-type stuff I’ve read or experiences I’ve had into the appropriate word document.

This does two things for me:

1. I’m forced to write out what I am learning, which helps me remember it.

2. I have great information filed away for when I need to go do research on the subject. For instance, when I’m asked to give a workshop on how best to recruit volunteers, I not only use my experience, but I go into my “recruit” file and my “volunteer” file to see what type of good content I can find that will help me build on my ideas and develop my workshop. It’s the same when I write on a certain subject.

What types of things do I file? Quotes, stories, strategies and processes, experiences I’ve had, etc… Almost anything!

A perfect example: the other day I was flying to an out of town meeting. I picked up the airlines magazine to browse through it. I found two great articles about Al Roker (the weatherman on the “Today” show), and Tom Shaw (a former NFL coach who runs some sports camps). As I read those articles, I immediately found value in the lessons they were talking about which I could apply to ministry. (Look for those blog posts later.) So what did I do? I took the magazine home and “filed “ those articles.

It’s a great way to retain great information that can help me in my leadership roles and in ministry. It works for me. Maybe it can work for you.

How do you retain lessons learned from books and other experiences you’ve had?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Making Things Right

February 13, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by dingler1109

I was in a meeting recently where I was asked to give a brief report about a ministry assessment. When the time had come to give the report, I sped right into it. I was ready and had all the documentation needed. I immediately started talking about the ministry assessment, analyzing it, and sharing some feedback.

As I was speaking, I received a look from a colleague. It was one of those looks. It didn’t phase me. I kept going.

My colleague stopped me, seemingly a little nervous about interrupting. She said that she needed me to slow down because she didn’t have the documentation available and neither did some of the other people around the table. I was explaining things and they had no idea what I was talking about.

I stopped talking. I waited until everyone was ready. I must have looked like I was impatient about this pause. In actuality, I was. I looked at my colleague and she felt bad about having to stop me. I looked unhappy. I wasn’t. I was just impatient, but I was not unhappy.

Once everyone was ready, I went ahead and finished the report.

I knew that I had made my colleague a little uncomfortable at the meeting. I felt bad about that. After our meeting had finished, I immediately went up to her to speak about the situation. “I know I tend to work fast and be a little impatient at times, but thank you for stopping me,” I said. “I really appreciate you doing that.” We joked about it and all was well.

The fact is, I make mistakes. I made a mistake at that meeting. I need to ensure open and honest dialogue where everyone feels comfortable. I didn’t do that well that day. I also work in church, which calls us to reconciliation. I needed to reconcile myself with her. That’s why I did what I did.

As a leader, building relationships is key. Letting the team know that I made a mistake and asking for forgiveness is important. I learned that day a couple principles that have helped me in my ministry leadership.

  • Speak with the individual right away. When I make a mistake, or I hurt someone in some way, it is my responsibility as a leader to reach out to that individual. It stops things from getting worse if I ignore the issue. In essence, it is about healing the relationships in my life when I have done something wrong. I have gained greater influence because of my actions.
  • Model the way for other leaders. When I make mistakes, I need to personally admit that mistake, apologize, and then take right action. I want other ministry leaders to do the same, but the only way I can do that is to model it. This is key to relational ministry.

How do you feel about approaching others when you make a mistake? Is it an easy or difficult thing to do? Why?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: ,

Growing As a Leader: Reading

February 7, 2012 3 Comments

photo by Earl - What I Saw 2.0

Last week, I shared with you my personal belief that growing on purpose is such an important part of any leaders life. This week, I’m going to begin sharing with you how I do this. It’s not overly complicated. In fact, you might read this and say, “Really, that’s it?”

It should be easy. I don’t have to create a complicated plan for the sake of being complicated. I use what works… for me. The things I’m going to be sharing over the next couple weeks work for me. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, I encourage you to look for things that do.

This week, I’m going to write about the most important step in personal growth: reading.

Nothing raises my leadership ability more than reading.

On my to-do list, every day, without fail, are the words “read.” What does this mean? It means that every day, I schedule into my calendar 30 minutes of uninterrupted reading time. Sometimes I read at the office, at home, downtime waiting in line for the DMV, wherever. Since having a child (she’s just over a year old), I’ve had to get really disciplined and creative with the 30 minutes. It turns out that when I’m home, I find it very difficult to find 30 minutes, rightly so.

But 30 minutes is my goal. Am I able to accomplish it every day? Most of the time, yes, but sometimes life gets in the way. That’s okay. I just try to jump back on board the next day. The key is to always bring a book wherever I go. I never know when I’m going to have an extra 10-15 minutes as I go through my day.

What do I read? Non-fiction. Usually books on relationships, equipping, attitude, and leadership (REAL). Makes sense. Sometimes the books are about marriage and raising kids. We have some financial goals, so I’ve been reading some finance books also. Anything to help me in my ministry and life.

At this very moment, I’m rereading Jim Collins book, Good to Great. I don’t reread books very often, but this one has been worth it.

Take a look here at some books I’m planning to read this year.

What are you reading right now?

Is 30 minutes realistic in your life?

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Growing As a Leader: Intro

January 31, 2012 2 Comments

photo by abbyladybug

One of the topics that I am passionate about and have written on before is the importance of personal and professional growth. I am passionate about my personal growth because I know that my personal growth plan has had the greatest impact in my life in terms of “success” and adding value to the world through my gifts and strengths. (I put “success” in quotes, knowing full well that we all have a different definition of success. That will be another blog series itself.)

Today, I want to begin a series of blog articles that focus on personal and professional growth. This series will be posted once a week on Tuesday’s for the next few weeks.

When I graduated from college, I was, all of a sudden, on my own. I had no teachers or advisors telling me what to do next. I still had parents giving me “advice,” which I probably should have followed more, but I was free! Free to plan my life the way I wanted to plan it. For me, that meant going into full time ministry.

But it is interesting to note that after college, there is no set plan for the next steps on what to learn. For 22 years of life, my growth plan was clear. It was called elementary school, junior high school, high school, and then college. That was my growth plan. But now that I was 22, I had no growth plan.

And worse yet, I didn’t think I needed one. But I did need one.

I’ve heard numerous leaders and speakers say the following: “Leaders are learners. Leaders are readers. When a leader stops growing, that’s when they stop leading.”

The question that remained after hearing those statements over and over: how do I intentionally grow now that I am out of school?

I’ve been on a personal growth plan for about eight years now, and it has morphed and changed numerous times along the way. I want to share with you my plan in hopes that it might give you some ideas for yourself.

More importantly, I want to hear from you and have you share your ideas. Ideas that work. Maybe even ideas that don’t work.

Over the next few weeks, here are some of the ideas that we’ll be talking about:

  • Reading: why reading, what to read, etc…
  • Filing: Yes, filing. Stories, quotes, lessons. This is a way to save the stuff that has had an impact on my life.
  • Writing and Thinking: I sometimes have to stop doing all the time so I can start thinking. This is about hitting the pause button in life.
  • Conferences/Seminars: Great places to grow and learn.
  • Learning Lunch: Nothing is better than learning, except when there is food to go with it!
  • Reflection time: Experience is not the best teacher. Evaluated experience is. How do we reflect and evaluate our lives so that we can pan the nuggets of wisdom that come from our experience? This is also about hitting the pause button.
  • Growing with Others: It’s always easier when we create a plan with others.

I look forward to you joining me on this journey over the next few weeks. In the meantime, feel free to share with me some specific goals you might have for this series. What specifically are you hoping that I write about?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Signs of a Failing Relationship

January 30, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by fireflythegreat

When I was in college, I was a resident advisor (RA). My job was to make sure that people were following the rules and not being crazy. It was an interesting job, to say the least.

Living in the dorm where I was the RA, there was one individual who I had an opportunity to connect with and build a relationship. He was a lifeguard, so every time I went to work out in the pool doing my laps, he was there. He was a quality guy and a great potential leader.

Then things started to change. He made friends with people who were less than a positive influence on his life. His behavior became less than ideal and began to get in trouble…with me. This young adult, who I spoke with everyday early in the year, became someone who I had to write up on numerous occasions. Being written up is not a fun process and only happens when people do, well, dumb things.

Naturally, my relationship with him changed. There was even one point that I smiled when I had to write him up. Why, because I knew he deserved it. Certainly, my attitude needed to change. But just as important, my relationship with him was failing.

Relationships are at the heart of ministry. I learned that day that when a relationship fails or is in trouble, there are warning signs that speak loud and clear.

What are those signs of a failed relationship?

  • Avoidance: I was avoiding this young man. I used to be intentional about striking up a conversation with him. Now, if I saw him coming, I would go the other way to avoid an interaction. When we find ourselves in this situation, the relationship is on the rocks.
  • Take pleasure in their mistakes: I’m a nice guy. Really, I am! But the story above shows a side of me that I am not proud of (I was a college student at the time, too!) This young man was really making some big mistakes. My relationship with him had had deteriorated so much that I just smiled and actually enjoyed getting him in trouble. This is not a good place to be.
  • Difficult to affirm them: Part of being a leader is recognizing and praising people when they deserve it. When our relationship with an individual is failing, we find it very difficult to find things to affirm them about. Not that they don’t have affirmable qualities. They do! But I’m not seeing them because my relationship with them is focusing on the negatives.
  • Feeling drained of energy: Every time I encountered this young man, my energy would be drained from me. Life giving relationships are supposed to give life, not suck life out of me! When we start to feel this loss of energy, we need to address the relational issues at hand.

What are other signs that you have experienced in failing relationships?

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What to Read???

January 23, 2012 2 Comments

Recently, Jon Acuff tweeted about a couple books he was reading this year. His goal is to read 12 non-fiction books by the end of the 2012 (one a month). I think that’s a great goal, and very realistic and manageable.

I make a concerted effort to read 30 minutes a day a book that will help me grow in my leadership and ministry. I’ve had that goal for about eight years now.

Jon Acuff sharing his reading list inspired me to share some of the books I’ve read or will read in 2012. This is obviously not a complete list, as I often find books along the way, but here are some that I think will help me in my ministry.

Quitter, by Jon Acuff (speaking of). This was a great book to read and provides a lot of motivation (no, I’m not going to quit my job in ministry).

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry: From a Strategy of Influence to a Theology of Incarnation, by Andrew Root (youth ministry is a passion of mine and is still one of my primary ministries)

Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, by Jim Collins (I’ve read many of Collins’ books, and I’m looking forward to this one)

They Call Her Pastor: A New Role for Catholic Women, by Ruth Wallace (I’m studying leadership and organizational development for my doctorate program, so this should serve as an interesting read)

Leadership Without Easy Answers, by Ronald Heifetz (Heifitz has written some great books on adaptive leadership)

Mojo: How To Get It, How To Keep It, How To Get It Back If You Lost It, by Marshall Goldsmith (I read another books of his a couple years back, so I’m giving him another try)

 

Lasting Impressions: From Visiting to Belonging, by Mark Waltz (all about engaging people in to church)

 

Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, by Christian Smith (he is the lead researcher of the longitudinal study on youth and religion, and is following these youth as they grow into young adults)

 

What are you reading this year?

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Feeling the Love, Again

January 20, 2012 Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I wrote about how powerful it is when a church community “feels the love” when they gather for mass or a ministry program. I shared the “why” to building a community that is strong and vibrant.

Today, we’re going to talk about the “how.” How can you and I build a strong community in our ministry?

The most important step is that we need to realize that building a vibrant community where people are known and cared for takes work. We must create an intentional plan. Too often, we do not create community on purpose. It happens accidently. That’s okay, but creating an intentional plan can make the experience of community even more powerful.

What might that plan include?

  • Training for Hospitality Ministers: Whether it is for mass or a youth night, we must train people what it means to be hospitable. We must train people on how to build a relationship with others. Some people do it naturally well. Most of us need to be trained to do it well. And notice the “ministers” is plural. It should not just be the main leader being the hospitality minister. We need a team!
  • Name Tags: I’m a believer in name tags. How do you distribute name tags at your event? There’s a huge difference between having people sign in at a table and make their own name tag VERSUS being greeted by a hospitality minister by name and having their name tag written for them and handed to them. The latter is much more effective as it builds an initial point of contact with attendees.
  • Food: Nothing brings people together more than food. But it has to be good food!
  • Follow up process: When a new person comes to mass or your ministry program, how do you follow up with them? I can hear the laughing now. “Follow up? What follow up?” Exactly. That’s the point. It’s amazing how a follow up call, email, text, or Facebook message can mean a lot. It shows that we as leaders are paying attention and that we care for them. Think about creating an intentional follow up process.
  • Create downtime in your program: Downtime, breaks, before and after the program or mass; these are the best times for people to just hang out with others and talk about whatever. This is where true and authentic community is built. Unforced hang out time can be a powerful opportunity.
  • Time: Of course, we have to remember that building a vibrant faith community takes time. Give it time. Don’t force it, but provide the opportunity for connecting.

These are some really good ways to creating an intentional plan to building a vibrant community. But these are not the only ideas. So my question for you is…

What other creative and dynamic ideas you would add to this intentional plan?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: ,

Feeling the Love!

January 19, 2012 1 Comment

I was attending our annual Diocesan Professional Development Series for ministry leaders in parishes. The moment I walked in the door, I recognized many folks from across the Diocese of San Jose who are doing great ministry. As I entered the doorway, I didn’t walk more then two steps before getting a huge smile and a hug from a colleague.

Wow! What a way to be welcomed! For fifteen minutes, I spent time going around the lobby of the church saying hello to many friends. We talked kids, football, new haircuts, and food! It was great!

After fifteen minutes, I finally checked in for the workshop, gathered my handouts and name tag, and went inside to begin the series.

I walked in feeling good. I was ready to listen and learn. Why? Not because the subject matter was awesome. (However, the topic was great.) No, I was ready to listen and learn because of the great welcome and community that I felt as we began.

This experience re-confirmed some lessons I’ve been learning recently:

  • People attend church (and church programs) because of the people that are going to be there. That’s primary. The secondary reason people attend is because of the topic (maybe). If people have great relationships with others and they feel welcomed when they arrive, then we can move to the next bullet point…
  • Once people are engaged in the community, they are ready to listen and learn. Growing an Engaged Church, by Albert Winseman, states that “belonging leads to believing.” It’s true! We build community first, then they are ready to learn and believe. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you just come up with the right program and right topic, the people will come. Build the community, then they will come…and learn…and believe.

As I looked around the room, I realized that many of these parish leaders have known each other for years. When they come to any Diocesan event, they not only know that they will get some good resources and learning out of it. They know they are going to gather with good friends. That is a powerful place to be.

How can you and I build a strong community in our ministries?

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The Launch of REAL Ministry

January 17, 2012 4 Comments

I won’t lie! I’m very excited! Today, I launch the new branding and website for my ministry, REAL Ministry!

If you’ve been following my posts for any segment of time, you know that my passion is to develop leaders in ministry so that we can have a greater impact on the people that God has called us to serve. Everything from blog reflections to workshops, everything we do here is geared to help you (and me) become better leaders!

I believe that R E A L is the foundational acrostic building blocks that help all of us do what we do in ministry, and do it well.

  • Relationships: All ministry is founded on the ability to work with and serve people. That can only be done by being intentional about developing relationships with staff, volunteers, and those we serve.
  • Equipping: We cannot do it all ourselves. Equipping other leaders, both volunteers and staff, is required so that we can multiply our efforts and work.
  • Attitude: Would you rather work with people who have a positive attitude or a negative one? Positive, of course. As simple as this sounds, we must choose every day to have a positive attitude of personal growth and empowerment.
  • Leadership: As John C. Maxwell often states, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” Therefore, we must grow our leadership potential to have the impact we are hoping for in our organizations.

I hope that my ministry and this website will continue to be a resource for you. And if you ever have ideas around REAL Ministry, please share them with me. I especially would love to hear topics within REAL Ministry that would be helpful to you as a ministry leader.

I want to help! Let’s continue this journey of ministry leadership together!

I want to take this time to personally thank two people who helped get me to this point in launching the website:

  • Shirlene Do helped me determine that a new branding and logo for my ministry was necessary. When I started to share with her about REAL Ministry, she jumped all over it and immediately helped me create a vision for this that was bigger than my thoughts alone could create. She did all the website work to make it look and feel the way it is. She is a great writer and you can see her great work at www.ficklefaith.com (honest and real stories about her faith journey) and www.youmeandfivebucks.com (artistic and witty reflections on life, family, and anything else that you might talk about at a coffee shop.) Thanks for all your hard work, Shirlene!
  • Steve Do helped create the new logo for REAL Ministry and I love it! It’s simple, clean, and focuses on the idea that R E A and L are the building blocks for successful ministry. Steve can be found at www.stevedo.org. And yes, Steve and Shirlene are married (and great friends to me and my family!)
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