Can You Really Trust Your Volunteers?

May 30, 2013 4 Comments

I had a meeting recently with one of my key volunteers who is helping lead a big ministry project. I was sharing my expectations of her within the context of her volunteer job description.

As I often do, I turned the conversation around. I asked her point blank: “What are your expectations of me?”

Since we have worked together for quite some time on different projects, she only mentioned one: “I expect you not to get that involved in the project.”

Wow. That’s a statement many ministry leaders would like to hear.

The reality is that I trust her completely to lead the ministry project I have entrusted to her. She knows that. Is she perfect at the role? No. Is she really good at the role? Yes.

I often fall prey to the idea that I can do ministry better than any of my volunteers. That may be true some of the time, but not always. However, it is that attitude that stops me from fully trusting and empowering my volunteers to do the job I have given them to do.

Can I really trust my volunteers? The answer is a resounding “Yes!”

However, trust is not something I just give away easily. It is something that is earned. A competent and trustworthy volunteer has done certain things that encourage me to trust them.

Here are 4 reasons that cause me to trust my volunteer:

  • They are 100% honest with me. The funny thing about ministry is that people feel like they have to sugarcoat the truth. This is motivated by the desire not to cause conflict. I understand that feeling, but I need volunteers who tell it like it is. I need them to tell me everything I need to know, good or bad. In turn, I know that I can be 100% honest with them. I really value this in my volunteers.
  • I have worked with them numerous times. Nothing beats experience, time, and a history of working with someone. Trustworthy relationships take time to develop. I sometimes wish it could happen overnight, but the reality is different. Once I have worked with someone, I have a much better sense of their style, their personality, and their gifts and strengths. This allows me to better position them for success. Plus, I usually have had the opportunity to train them as a volunteer minister.
  • They excel in their role. Basically, they do excellent work. This could mean all sorts of things. They are organized, they have made wise decisions, they work well with people, and they get the job done.  When one of your volunteers succeeds, it becomes easier to trust them. However, my role is to do everything in my power to make sure they succeed.
  • They haven’t given me a significant reason not to trust them. No volunteer is perfect. I expect them to mess up and fail from time to time. I’m okay with that. There are certain things that a volunteer can do to make me lose my trust in them. Aside from the biggies, there are some small things that make me lose confidence in my volunteer. Examples would be always being late, not showing up to meetings or events, or abusing social media. This list could go on and on. I imagine you have your list of things that causes you not to trust a volunteer.

In the end, my goal is to empower and equip my volunteers to succeed and grow the ministry beyond what I, myself, am capable of. I can only do that if I can trust my volunteers enough to hand them ministry projects and walk away to develop other areas of the ministry.

I still need to continue to support them. That support becomes a lot easier when I trust them.

Question: What does a volunteer do that causes you to trust them?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

The Biggest Mistake a Leader Can Make

May 2, 2013 Leave a Comment

Have you made a mistake lately?

If your answer to this question is anything but “yes,” then you’re either lying or not leading.

Part of being a leader means dealing with your own mistakes and failures. It happens. There are some mistakes that are bigger than others.

In this video, different leaders share what they think some of the biggest mistakes are that a leader can make. As I watched, I found myself nodding my head often, as I reminisced about the times I have made those very mistakes.

Question: Which mistake shared in the video do you agree with the most? What mistake would you add?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Helping Parents Pass on a Legacy of Faith to Their Children

May 1, 2013 2 Comments

I was recently asked to give a talk to parents about how they can pass on faith to their kids. As I prepared for this talk, this one line kept coming to mind:

Home is church, too. We experience God in the context of our intimate relationships.

I first heard that quote at a Vibrant Faith @ Home seminar from Leif Kehrwald. It really struck a chord with me.

As a ministry leader, I have often focused on how I can get more people to my programs and events at the church. My goal is always to connect them to the church community and to Christ, but I sometimes fell into the trap that the best place for this to happen was at church.

Yet, research continues to show that parents have the biggest influence on the faith life of everyone in the home, including the children. Therefore, my role also needs to be about empowering parents to take that influence seriously.

The best way I can do this is by helping parents come to the realization that the home is church, too.

In Kehrwald’s seminar, he shared with us the 6 ways that families grow in faith together.

Families grow in faith together when…

  1. They talk with each other about their faith (not preach or teach faith)
  2. They pray together in ways that are comfortable and comforting
  3. They ritualize their important moments
  4. They reach out in service and support of others
  5. They share Bible stories to connect with family stories
  6. They learn about faith together in comfortable and fun ways

For the talk I was asked to do with parents, I merely took Kehrwald’s ideas and made them more concrete and tried to provide practical ways where parents could do all 6 of these things in some way, shape, or form.

Here are some examples I share for each of the 6 ways to grow in faith together:

  1. Share with your kids some things about the faith that you totally agree with and some things that you are currently struggling with. Make the topic age appropriate.
  2. When something major happens in the life of your family, take time to pray. That could be when a family member is sick, a dog dies, a sacrament is celebrated, or a child passed a major test or milestone.
  3. Create a ritual at home around birthdays, graduations, getting a driver’s license, and for the first and last day of school.
  4. When the kids are young, help out an ailing senior citizen clean up their house or cook a meal for them. When they are teens, go as a family on a parish mission trip either out of city, state, or country. Or, when you are on vacation as a family, take a few hours to do some service where ever you are.
  5. Read the story of Jesus’ birth and talk about the day that your children were born.
  6. Take one of the interactive sessions from Vibrant Faith @ Home and use it as a family. It’s free and there are a ton of resources to use.

The key is to keep it simple. Families are busy. The goal is to not add one more thing to their plate. The goal is to make faith a normal routine at home.

And it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Question: What strategies have you used to empower parents to take their role seriously as the primary teacher of the faith?

Filed Under: Equipping, Relationships Tagged With:

Are You Busy or Disciplined?

April 30, 2013 Leave a Comment

“Most of us lead busy but undisciplined lives. We have ever-expanding ‘to do’ lists, trying to build momentum by doing, doing, doing – and doing more. And it rarely works. Those who build the good-to-great companies, however, made as much use of ‘stop doing’ lists as ‘to do’ lists. They displayed a remarkable discipline to unplug all sorts of extraneous junk.” –Jim Collins

I take personal offense to this quote. Why? Because it describes me perfectly!

I like to be on the move. I’m a doer. I take action. In fact, my wife accused me of stressing her out when at home one weekend. While we should have been relaxing and enjoying our time together, I wanted to try and take care of this, that and, oh yeah, that too!

She busted me in only a way a spouse could. And she was right.

I bring that same attitude to my ministry. I sometimes think to myself, “As long as I’m doing something, anything, then my ministry will be a success.”

Well, after years of being busy, do I have the success I was looking for?

Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that I have moved the ministry forward in innovative and exciting ways. No in the sense that I know I could have been much further along if I was more disciplined.

Daily, I keep doing things that aren’t helpful in moving my ministry forward. Yet, I’m strangely addicted to these tasks, even though I have labeled them as not helpful.

Why? Because I’d rather be busy than disciplined.

Yet, in the end, it is discipline that matters more than being busy.

Here are some tasks that I find “I’m too busy to do,” but I need to discipline myself to do.

  • Reflect/think everyday on how to create a more effective and dynamic ministry. I‘m not talking about 1 to 2 hours. I’m talking about 15 to 30 minutes.
  • Coach and mentor my team.

  • Connect more regularly with key constituents, like priests and donors.
  • Develop and implement a better communication and marketing strategy.

These are just a few that I have not been disciplined enough to do more intentionally. These are the items that Stephen Covey would say are important, but not urgent.

It’s been said that good is the enemy of great. I’d like to add a related phrase:

Busy is the enemy of discipline.

Question: What tasks do you have to be more disciplined to do?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With: ,

Leadership Is Caught, Not Taught

April 24, 2013 Leave a Comment

I think of myself as a good teacher. I enjoy teaching, facilitating workshops, and inspiring people to grow and change and become the best version of themselves.

If I could do nothing but write blog posts and books, create podcasts, lead workshops, and facilitate awesome webinars, I’d be in heaven. There is nothing I do that brings me more energy and excitement than that.

All those things fall into the teaching category.

But, one lesson I have learned along the way is this:

Leadership is better caught than taught.

Sure, leadership can be taught. There are plenty of great resources to learn how to be a leader. I don’t believe that people are born leaders.

People learn to be leaders.

However, it is true that people pay more attention to my actions than my words. If that’s the case, how I lead my ministry, the actions I take, and how I treat people are the best way to teach my team what it means to be a leader.

In my attempt to help my team catch my leadership, I try to follow these 3 strategies:

  • Do what I say and say what I do. I can’t believe how many times I have fallen into the trap of saying one thing and doing another. The funny thing is that it took me having a daughter to realize how important this is. I have been caught telling my daughter that she can’t have a cookie before dinner, and then I eat a cookie before dinner right in front of her eyes. Cookies are my weak spot. The difference between my daughter and my team is that my daughter will actually speak up. My team will often notice my hypocrisy but will decide to keep their mouth shut. Don’t mistake silence as them not noticing your actions differing from your words. Trust me, they notice.
  • Don’t expect people to go where I have not gone. I am the lid in my ministry. The further I go up, the further the lid is pushed up. If I don’t push the lid up, my team cannot push it up for me. The team can only go where I have been.
  • The first person I lead is myself. Don’t forget this fundamental rule. If you wouldn’t follow yourself, why would anyone else? Personal growth is the key to helping your team grow. As long as you keep growing, your team will keep growing.

Remember this: Leadership is better caught than taught.

Question: How do you pass on the lessons of leadership to your team?

Filed Under: Equipping, Leadership

Volunteers and New-Born Babies: Similar or Different?

April 16, 2013 Leave a Comment

When my daughter was living through her first few months of life, I found myself reflecting on how caring for a newborn baby is very similar to being a leader and working with volunteers.

I used to watch parents and chuckle inside when I would see them praise their baby for everything little thing that they did. Now that I’ve been a parent, I can understand why. Everything my daughter did is the first time that she has done it. And it takes time to learn all those things. With each attempt, I found myself praising her efforts and affirming her. She smiles at me for the first time. “Good job!” She starts to control her head movement a little. “Yay!” She burps for the first time. “Way to go!” She grabs my finger with just a little more pressure and force. “Wow! You are awesome! You are so strong!”

These are mundane little things that I praised her for. But are they really mundane? For a newborn, they are a big deal.

When I work with adults in ministry and they start to learn new tasks, I sometimes don’t praise them. Why? That adult volunteer learning to lead a small group of teenagers for the first time is just as big of a deal as my daughter lifting her own head.

I find it so natural to affirm my child for all the new things that she is learning, even when she fails at it. But with adults, I sometimes can’t bring myself to do the same thing. Not that I need to treat the adults I work with in ministry like newborns, but I should be intentional about praising and affirming them when they are learning new skills and become better leaders.

If you have found yourself not being as affirming as you could with your team of volunteers, I recommend doing the following 3 steps:

  1. Make a list of the adults that you work with in ministry.
  2. Next to their name, write down three to five things that they should be praised for.
  3. Next time you work with them, affirm them for one of those things that you listed.

You will find that they will be more motivated next time to do a better job at their ministry role and work to become better leaders. Why? Because we all respond to positive praise and affirmation.

Just don’t talk to them like you would a newborn. That’s an easy way to lose a volunteer.

Question: What is the most powerful affirmation you have ever received?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Lay Leaders Can Be Pastors? Sort Of

April 9, 2013 4 Comments

When I was in high school and college, I was very involved in youth ministry and campus ministry. I helped lead many retreats, was a catechist for the confirmation preparation program, and served on many social justice and service experiences.

One of the questions I was asked quite often was if I was considering becoming a priest in the Catholic Church. Some asked because they were simply curious. Others asked because they wanted me to think about that vocation.

In truth, I was thinking about it. I was attracted to the idea.

As I progressed through college, I noticed a trend in ministry that I was not really old enough to pay attention to before. There were many leaders in the church that were not ordained. These lay leaders were responsible for all sorts of aspects of parish life, including, in some circumstances, leading a church as the assigned administrator.

I soon discovered that what attracted me to the priesthood was the potential to lead a church. I liked the idea of being the leader of an organization. I also felt like I had the gifts and skills for a role like that, after some more personal growth.

What I was not attracted to in being a priest was presiding at Mass, doing the sacraments, and pastoral care. These were roles that, often times, can only be assigned to a priest.

I eventually discerned that becoming a priest was not in the cards for me. Today, I know that was the right decision.

To this day, I recognize the role that lay leaders play in the church. In some dioceses, including my own in San Jose, there are lay leaders that have been assigned as the leader of the church. These churches don’t have pastor. The lay leader is responsible for the pastoral care of the church and they partner with priests who tend to have responsibilities for the sacraments.

I have not spoken much about my adventure to obtain my doctorate degree. On April 8, 2013, I successful defended my dissertation and am now cleared to graduate in May of 2013 with a Doctor of Ministry degree in the field of Organizational and Leadership Development.

My dissertation is on the topic of Ministers of Parish Life in the Diocese of San Jose. These are the lay leaders I speak of that are called to lead churches, not as priests, but as lay people.

What I propose in my dissertation is a system to recruit, train, assign, and support these types of leaders. Throughout the dissertation, I touch upon the importance of an intentional plan to develop these leaders, while building it all on the foundation of official church teaching and canon law.

As a layperson myself, the writing of my dissertation is not my attempt or desire to remove priests from pastoral leadership. I greatly value and support the many good works of the ordained priest, admiring them for answering the call that God has bestowed upon them and entering a wonderful and demanding ministry. I am inspired by their ability to openly and willingly serve God’s people day in a day out through their unique calling.

My purpose for doing this work is to explore how lay leaders and priests can work together in furthering the mission of the Church by reexamining our traditional leadership structures. Priests bring tremendous gifts to the Church. As my dissertation highlights, lay leaders do the same. Together as partners, lay leaders and priests can more effectively meet the changing and dynamic needs of the people of God in the Roman Catholic Church.

I’m looking forward to the publication of my dissertation and I hope that it will aid the Diocese of San Jose.

By the way, lay leaders cannot technically be pastors, according to canon law. The term “pastor” is reserved solely for priests. However, a bishop can assign a lay leader to be responsible for the pastoral care of a parish.

Question: What questions do you have around the topic of Ministers of Parish Life?

Filed Under: Equipping, Leadership

Are Your Goals SMART?

April 3, 2013 Leave a Comment

My ministry team and I have a visioning and brainstorming day at least once a year, where we ask ourselves what our ministry could look like and how are we going to get there. We list everything that we do or want to do, rate it on its impact in the field, and assign responsibilities. After this type of session, we are clear which direction we want to go. It’s at that time that we create goals and plans around our vision.

I recently posted on Twitter the following quote: “The goal shapes the plan. The plan shapes the action. The action achieves the results. The results bring success.”

It seems to be a succinct way of saying, ‘plan and plan well.’ After our visioning and planning day, I ask my team to write up three to five SMART goals for themselves based on the tasks that were assigned to them in our ministry. These goals are usually a part of their performance evaluation process. SMART goals are all about having clear goals that we work towards, and which we get measured on during performance evaluations. SMART stands for:

  • S =  Specific: no generalized goals in which one never knows if they really accomplished it our not. For instance, “I want to become a better minister” is NOT a specific goal. I have no idea what a goal like that means.
  • M =  Motivational: goals are meant to motivate you in your work. I want my team to look at their goals each day and be excited about the work that they are doing for God’s church and ministry.
  • A =  Attainable: this should go without saying, but sometimes I set goals that I could not possibly accomplish in one year. Goals should be realistic. If they are not, they become demotivating, because I know I can’t get it done.
  • R =  Relevant: goals should make an impact on your ministry and be based on the assigned responsibilities. They should move the ministry closer to its desired vision and make an impact.
  • T =  Trackable (or time-based): I have to know when a goal is completed. The goal needs a deadline.

Once my goals are written down, I post them somewhere where I can see it everyday in my office. It is a daily reminder of what I set out to do. It’s important to limit it to three to five goals because, any more than that, the likely-hood of accomplishing them all decreases. In the end, the performance evaluation of my team is based solely on these SMART goals that we have set for ourselves. More importantly, these goals lead us to plans, then to action, then to results, then to success in our ministry.

My team wants to make an impact on the churches we serve, which in turn helps churches impact the lives of all God’s people. SMART goals allow us to do that.

Question: What are some of your SMART goals?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership Tagged With:

At The Cross, I Am Changed

March 28, 2013 Leave a Comment

As Christians, today begins the most powerful and moving part of our faith, the Triduum, where we celebrate the Last Supper, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection of Christ. In remembrance, I share this video with you.

As you view the video, pay close attention to the words of the song. The song is titled, “At the Cross,” by Matt Gowler and Scott Fairclof.

The first line of the refrain is powerful: “At the cross, I am changed.”

Question: How have you been changed because of what happened at the cross?

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Volunteer Contracts: A Must-Have Ministry Tool

March 20, 2013 Leave a Comment

When I first moved into my home, the house was in need of an interior paint job. The walls were covered in fingerprints, dirty hand marks, and normal wear and tear. My wife and I decided that we would paint the entire interior of the house, including closets and bathrooms, before we moved anything in. That way, the house was empty and we wouldn’t have to move or cover any furniture.

I hired a team of painters to do the job. I had made the expectations very clear. We weren’t ready to commit to colors, so we just stuck with white paint on most walls. We wanted every wall and ceiling painted. They quoted us a price.

I then asked for a contract.

Contract?

The head painter looked at me a little befuddled that I wanted a contract. But, he assured me that he would get me a contract.

The paint job started and he never got me a contract. I should have pressed more for the contract, but the fact is I didn’t.

In the end, the paint job looked great. They got it done in the amount of time they said they would and stayed within the quoted amount.

As I inspected the job, I quickly noticed that the bathroom and closets were not painted. I asked the head painter why and he said that it was never in the plan to paint those rooms.

I was shocked. I had made it very clear what I wanted. Yet, with no contract, the job was still done incorrectly.

The same holds true for volunteers. I can be really clear about my expectations of them, yet, sometimes, the volunteer does not meet the expectations that were laid out.

Why? Because I never wrote down the expectations in the form of a contract.

Some people I know call it a volunteer covenant, but the purpose is still the same.

I have a lot of well meaning volunteers and they do a great job! I am thankful for each and every one of them. However, there are times that some expectations are not met. Most of the time, they are not met because, although I was clear with them verbally, my volunteer did not have a written form of the expectations to refer back to as they began their work.

Needless to say, some of the expectations were lost.

A volunteer contract benefits the ministry leader (you) and the volunteer well.

  • You get a written agreement that your volunteer understands the expectations that you have set forth.
  • Your volunteer has the expectations clearly spelled out for them and they are more likely to succeed.

Create a simple contract for your volunteer that outlines the expectations and time commitments. Once that is done and you both agree to them, sign it, date it, and give a copy to the volunteer. Here is a sample PDF version of a contract for your volunteers.

Question: Do you use volunteer contracts or covenants? How have they been beneficial for your ministry?

 

Filed Under: Equipping, Leadership Tagged With:

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    • Husband and father of 1 daughter. Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry, Diocese of San Jose. Chairperson, National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry. Been in full time ministry for over 11 years.