Growing As A Leader: Thinking (and Writing)

February 21, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by @boetter

The personal growth series continues (for a few more weeks on Tuesdays). We’ve talked about why personal growth is important, reading, and filing. Now it’s time to move to thinking.

Thinking. There’s a tough one. Don’t I think everyday? Biologically, yes. The question really is, am I thinking on the right things?

Our economy has moved from a world of skill knowledge to a world of intellectual knowledge. What I mean is that our economy used to be driven by what you know how to do. It was all about manufacturing. Can you build a car? Can you fix a computer? More and more, that’s not the case anymore. Business, industry, and, yes, ministry, is paying a premium on intellectual knowledge. This is about the ideas that one can create.

That’s where thinking and writing come into play.

Church is ever changing. To reach out to those that we serve, and to be effective at it, we need to be innovative in our thinking and ideas. The same old model of ministry and church does not always work. Yet, too many of us, me included, stick with the model we know, sometimes to the detriment of our ministry.

Spending intentional time thinking out ideas is really important to yours and my success in ministry. How do I do this?

All of us are struck with a good idea for our ministry. It happens quite often. That initial idea, though, needs some tweaking and massaging to make it a better idea. It is not a perfect thought when it comes out of your brain. It needs help.

When I have a good idea, here are some things I try to do with it:

  • Write if down: If I don’t write it down, I lose the thought. I think I’ve lost a ton of ideas that were really good because I never wrote it down. Write it down!
  • Spend 15-30 minutes with the thought: It’s amazing how some concentrated time on a single thought allows me to make a good idea even better. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Oh, and keep writing down what you are thinking.
  • Talk to others about the idea and get feedback: This is my favorite. My thoughts and ideas always get better when I talk them through with others. This does two things for me. One, it helps me articulate my thought better as I try to explain it. Two, feedback from other people helps me refine and rework the idea to make it even better! Oh, and keep writing down the ideas and feedback people offer you.

It’s amazing how doing these three things can allow me to expand my mind and ideas. The problem is that we are in a culture that is all about do, do, do! We have tasks galore! If we are to truly be effective leaders in ministry, then taking some time out to think these thoughts is essential.

What’s one good idea you’ve come up with in the past month? Have you spent any time thinking on it?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With: ,

Will I Ever Learn???

February 20, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by opensourceway

I used to think that as I got older, I would get better at things and become a better person. The fact is that I feel that I’m not getting better. Sometimes, I feel like I’m getting worse.

A few weeks back, I was working on a ministry project that was very detailed oriented. I’ll be honest, I’m not a detail guy. I was ultimately the person responsible for the job, but I found myself doing a very peculiar thing. I kept passing on the project to someone else to finish up.

The particular person I was passing it on to is very detailed oriented, but this was not their job. As I was “passing the buck” to her, it became clear very quickly that I was asking her to do something that was not her responsibility and she had some frustration about it, rightly so.

I made a mistake. Unfortunately, this was one that I have made before. I haven’t become a better leader. I haven’t learned from my mistakes.

I tried my best to reconcile the situation. I called her and shared with her my frustration with the process and my apology for clearly asking her to do more than she was responsible for. We cleared up some things, and continued to move forward.

The fact is, as a leader in ministry, we are going to make mistakes. In fact, I believe that if I haven’t made many mistakes, that means I’m not risking enough or trying to expand my leadership skills and ministry.

How do I react to my mistakes? This is an attitude issue. Here are a few ways I’ve reacted to my mistakes in the past.

  • Get really mad at myself. I clearly remember one night playing basketball as a teenager at a gym for a church event. I kept missing my shots. So what did I decide to do? Punch a wall. Needless to say, my hand became so swollen and bruised that I was unable to play the rest of the night. Dumb. I’d be lying to you if I said that I still don’t get mad at myself. I do get mad at myself, I just don’t punch walls anymore.
  • Shrug it off. Sometimes, I just don’t care if I made a mistake or not. I don’t take responsibility and I don’t work to fix the situation. Worse yet, I might just totally ignore the situation.
  • Reconcile and learn. This is the best option. When I make a mistake, like in the situation above, I need to immediately move to reconcile the situation if people were involved (and people are always involved.) Then, I need to reflect on the experience, learn from the mistake, and never make the mistake again.

I’m not perfect at this. I find myself making the same mistakes over and over again. Clearly, I’m not learning from my past experience. However, I know I handle mistakes much better than I did when I was younger.

How do you react when you make mistakes?

Filed Under: Attitude Tagged With: ,

Growing As a Leader: Filing

February 14, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by Daveybot

Continuing to share about personal growth, this week, we’re going to talk about filing. I know what you’re thinking. “Great. Filing. Just what I need is to file more stuff.” Well, it’s not what you think.

If you’re like me, you have a terrible time retaining all the great stuff that you learned while reading. I highlight and highlight, and all too often, the book goes back on the shelf never to be opened again. Did a magically memorize everything I read or highlighted? No.

I created a filing system to help me remember the good stuff I’m learning. My system is quite simple: I create simple word documents by subject, like equipping, success, personal growth, youth ministry, etc… As I read more and more good stuff, I create more and more files. I wait until I have something to file under a certain category before I create a file. For instance, I didn’t create a “theology” file until I had some good content to put in that file.

Then whatever I highlight (or whatever I learn), I “file” away into the appropriate word document on the subject. Basically, I re-type stuff I’ve read or experiences I’ve had into the appropriate word document.

This does two things for me:

1. I’m forced to write out what I am learning, which helps me remember it.

2. I have great information filed away for when I need to go do research on the subject. For instance, when I’m asked to give a workshop on how best to recruit volunteers, I not only use my experience, but I go into my “recruit” file and my “volunteer” file to see what type of good content I can find that will help me build on my ideas and develop my workshop. It’s the same when I write on a certain subject.

What types of things do I file? Quotes, stories, strategies and processes, experiences I’ve had, etc… Almost anything!

A perfect example: the other day I was flying to an out of town meeting. I picked up the airlines magazine to browse through it. I found two great articles about Al Roker (the weatherman on the “Today” show), and Tom Shaw (a former NFL coach who runs some sports camps). As I read those articles, I immediately found value in the lessons they were talking about which I could apply to ministry. (Look for those blog posts later.) So what did I do? I took the magazine home and “filed “ those articles.

It’s a great way to retain great information that can help me in my leadership roles and in ministry. It works for me. Maybe it can work for you.

How do you retain lessons learned from books and other experiences you’ve had?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Growing As a Leader: Reading

February 7, 2012 3 Comments

photo by Earl - What I Saw 2.0

Last week, I shared with you my personal belief that growing on purpose is such an important part of any leaders life. This week, I’m going to begin sharing with you how I do this. It’s not overly complicated. In fact, you might read this and say, “Really, that’s it?”

It should be easy. I don’t have to create a complicated plan for the sake of being complicated. I use what works… for me. The things I’m going to be sharing over the next couple weeks work for me. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, I encourage you to look for things that do.

This week, I’m going to write about the most important step in personal growth: reading.

Nothing raises my leadership ability more than reading.

On my to-do list, every day, without fail, are the words “read.” What does this mean? It means that every day, I schedule into my calendar 30 minutes of uninterrupted reading time. Sometimes I read at the office, at home, downtime waiting in line for the DMV, wherever. Since having a child (she’s just over a year old), I’ve had to get really disciplined and creative with the 30 minutes. It turns out that when I’m home, I find it very difficult to find 30 minutes, rightly so.

But 30 minutes is my goal. Am I able to accomplish it every day? Most of the time, yes, but sometimes life gets in the way. That’s okay. I just try to jump back on board the next day. The key is to always bring a book wherever I go. I never know when I’m going to have an extra 10-15 minutes as I go through my day.

What do I read? Non-fiction. Usually books on relationships, equipping, attitude, and leadership (REAL). Makes sense. Sometimes the books are about marriage and raising kids. We have some financial goals, so I’ve been reading some finance books also. Anything to help me in my ministry and life.

At this very moment, I’m rereading Jim Collins book, Good to Great. I don’t reread books very often, but this one has been worth it.

Take a look here at some books I’m planning to read this year.

What are you reading right now?

Is 30 minutes realistic in your life?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With: ,

Living In Crisis

February 6, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by robinsoncaruso

Have you ever encountered someone who turned everything into a crisis?

I was enjoying lunch with some friends at a restaurant one day, when I overheard an individual at another table sharing how frustrated she was. You could tell she was upset. As I started to listen to her talk about the situation that frustrated her, I couldn’t help but smile a little bit. She spent ten minutes complaining and wondering why people in her office would do such a thing. “It just doesn’t make sense!” she said at one point.

Some of the people who she was talking with started to feed into her frustration by agreeing with her that she should be totally upset and that other people need to pay more attention. It became a frenzied conversation that made everyone at the table upset. They were mad and the problem needed to be fixed.

The problem: some unknown co-worker innocently picked up a Fed Ex box and put it on the counter instead of leaving it on the floor (where I guess it was supposed to be).

Really? In the grand scheme of life, that was a big deal?

This group of people turned the whole situation into a crisis that needed to be dealt with immediately.

Do you know anyone like that?

I think it is really easy to encounter that type of attitude in ministry. There are always individuals who turn molehills into mountains (as the saying goes). That type of attitude doesn’t help anyone. Here are some of the consequences of an attitude like that:

  • It raises our level of frustration higher than it needs to be.
  • It impairs our ability to constructively solve the problem.
  • It lowers morale within our team and ministry.
  • It causes the people around that individual to begin thinking the same way. All of a sudden, the entire team begins to turn every small situation into a crisis.
  • People start to ostracize the person with the negative attitude (that would be my inclination).
  • We begin to focus our time on unimportant issues as opposed to the important ones.
  • It stresses all of us out.

This type of attitude can happen to all of us. I have a natural disposition of positivity, but I sometimes feel negative energy seeping into me at times. Whatever is in me has to come out. There are times that I have let that negative attitude out. Sometimes it is constructive. Sometimes, not so much.

I have to check my attitude daily. Am I making everything a crisis? If I am, how is that effecting my ministry? And I guarantee it does effect it.

Name a time when a situation made you laugh because you knew an individual (or you) was turning a no-big-deal issue into a crisis.

I would love to hear those stories!

Filed Under: Attitude Tagged With:

Growing As a Leader: Intro

January 31, 2012 2 Comments

photo by abbyladybug

One of the topics that I am passionate about and have written on before is the importance of personal and professional growth. I am passionate about my personal growth because I know that my personal growth plan has had the greatest impact in my life in terms of “success” and adding value to the world through my gifts and strengths. (I put “success” in quotes, knowing full well that we all have a different definition of success. That will be another blog series itself.)

Today, I want to begin a series of blog articles that focus on personal and professional growth. This series will be posted once a week on Tuesday’s for the next few weeks.

When I graduated from college, I was, all of a sudden, on my own. I had no teachers or advisors telling me what to do next. I still had parents giving me “advice,” which I probably should have followed more, but I was free! Free to plan my life the way I wanted to plan it. For me, that meant going into full time ministry.

But it is interesting to note that after college, there is no set plan for the next steps on what to learn. For 22 years of life, my growth plan was clear. It was called elementary school, junior high school, high school, and then college. That was my growth plan. But now that I was 22, I had no growth plan.

And worse yet, I didn’t think I needed one. But I did need one.

I’ve heard numerous leaders and speakers say the following: “Leaders are learners. Leaders are readers. When a leader stops growing, that’s when they stop leading.”

The question that remained after hearing those statements over and over: how do I intentionally grow now that I am out of school?

I’ve been on a personal growth plan for about eight years now, and it has morphed and changed numerous times along the way. I want to share with you my plan in hopes that it might give you some ideas for yourself.

More importantly, I want to hear from you and have you share your ideas. Ideas that work. Maybe even ideas that don’t work.

Over the next few weeks, here are some of the ideas that we’ll be talking about:

  • Reading: why reading, what to read, etc…
  • Filing: Yes, filing. Stories, quotes, lessons. This is a way to save the stuff that has had an impact on my life.
  • Writing and Thinking: I sometimes have to stop doing all the time so I can start thinking. This is about hitting the pause button in life.
  • Conferences/Seminars: Great places to grow and learn.
  • Learning Lunch: Nothing is better than learning, except when there is food to go with it!
  • Reflection time: Experience is not the best teacher. Evaluated experience is. How do we reflect and evaluate our lives so that we can pan the nuggets of wisdom that come from our experience? This is also about hitting the pause button.
  • Growing with Others: It’s always easier when we create a plan with others.

I look forward to you joining me on this journey over the next few weeks. In the meantime, feel free to share with me some specific goals you might have for this series. What specifically are you hoping that I write about?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

What to Read???

January 23, 2012 2 Comments

Recently, Jon Acuff tweeted about a couple books he was reading this year. His goal is to read 12 non-fiction books by the end of the 2012 (one a month). I think that’s a great goal, and very realistic and manageable.

I make a concerted effort to read 30 minutes a day a book that will help me grow in my leadership and ministry. I’ve had that goal for about eight years now.

Jon Acuff sharing his reading list inspired me to share some of the books I’ve read or will read in 2012. This is obviously not a complete list, as I often find books along the way, but here are some that I think will help me in my ministry.

Quitter, by Jon Acuff (speaking of). This was a great book to read and provides a lot of motivation (no, I’m not going to quit my job in ministry).

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry: From a Strategy of Influence to a Theology of Incarnation, by Andrew Root (youth ministry is a passion of mine and is still one of my primary ministries)

Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, by Jim Collins (I’ve read many of Collins’ books, and I’m looking forward to this one)

They Call Her Pastor: A New Role for Catholic Women, by Ruth Wallace (I’m studying leadership and organizational development for my doctorate program, so this should serve as an interesting read)

Leadership Without Easy Answers, by Ronald Heifetz (Heifitz has written some great books on adaptive leadership)

Mojo: How To Get It, How To Keep It, How To Get It Back If You Lost It, by Marshall Goldsmith (I read another books of his a couple years back, so I’m giving him another try)

 

Lasting Impressions: From Visiting to Belonging, by Mark Waltz (all about engaging people in to church)

 

Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, by Christian Smith (he is the lead researcher of the longitudinal study on youth and religion, and is following these youth as they grow into young adults)

 

What are you reading this year?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

The Launch of REAL Ministry

January 17, 2012 4 Comments

I won’t lie! I’m very excited! Today, I launch the new branding and website for my ministry, REAL Ministry!

If you’ve been following my posts for any segment of time, you know that my passion is to develop leaders in ministry so that we can have a greater impact on the people that God has called us to serve. Everything from blog reflections to workshops, everything we do here is geared to help you (and me) become better leaders!

I believe that R E A L is the foundational acrostic building blocks that help all of us do what we do in ministry, and do it well.

  • Relationships: All ministry is founded on the ability to work with and serve people. That can only be done by being intentional about developing relationships with staff, volunteers, and those we serve.
  • Equipping: We cannot do it all ourselves. Equipping other leaders, both volunteers and staff, is required so that we can multiply our efforts and work.
  • Attitude: Would you rather work with people who have a positive attitude or a negative one? Positive, of course. As simple as this sounds, we must choose every day to have a positive attitude of personal growth and empowerment.
  • Leadership: As John C. Maxwell often states, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” Therefore, we must grow our leadership potential to have the impact we are hoping for in our organizations.

I hope that my ministry and this website will continue to be a resource for you. And if you ever have ideas around REAL Ministry, please share them with me. I especially would love to hear topics within REAL Ministry that would be helpful to you as a ministry leader.

I want to help! Let’s continue this journey of ministry leadership together!

I want to take this time to personally thank two people who helped get me to this point in launching the website:

  • Shirlene Do helped me determine that a new branding and logo for my ministry was necessary. When I started to share with her about REAL Ministry, she jumped all over it and immediately helped me create a vision for this that was bigger than my thoughts alone could create. She did all the website work to make it look and feel the way it is. She is a great writer and you can see her great work at www.ficklefaith.com (honest and real stories about her faith journey) and www.youmeandfivebucks.com (artistic and witty reflections on life, family, and anything else that you might talk about at a coffee shop.) Thanks for all your hard work, Shirlene!
  • Steve Do helped create the new logo for REAL Ministry and I love it! It’s simple, clean, and focuses on the idea that R E A and L are the building blocks for successful ministry. Steve can be found at www.stevedo.org. And yes, Steve and Shirlene are married (and great friends to me and my family!)
Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

If I were the leader…

January 13, 2012 Leave a Comment

Have you ever just shook your head as you received a communication from a ministry leader or saw a leader do something that you thought to yourself, “why”? I can. Many times. Sometimes my “why” turned in to, “What were they thinking?” Then, I immediately say to myself, “I will never do that as a leader.” In fact, a couple years ago, I started making a list of those things that I swore I would never do. Come on, be honest. Have you ever said, “If I was the leader, I would do this or not do that. If I was the leader, everything would be better. If I was the leader, I would be a better leader than others.” Well, that’s an awfully self-serving and un-humble thing to say. Not to mention, not very Jesus-like. But, I’ve said it.

Then, I became a leader in ministry and, wa-la! Like magic, I did the same things that I swore I would never do! Why?

  • My perspective changes: When we become leaders, we have a different perspective. Sometimes, we see things that others do not see or understand. We make a decision based on that perspective. It may be right or wrong, but the fact is that your perspective changes and informs every decision you make.
  • We distance ourselves: Not purposely. Any leadership position can sometimes remove us from the people we are meant to serve. The solution is to try and always stay grounded. I have to get outside of my ivory tower and be with the people. Just because I have a certain title does not give me permission to not stay connected with those that are ministering on the ground floor with and for me.
  • We make mistakes: There were times when I’ve said, “what were they thinking?”, that it was clear the leader I was talking about made a mistake. We don’t want or expect our leaders to make mistakes. But, they do because they are human. So do I. Being a leader does not mean we have all encompassing wisdom. Even Solomon made mistakes. So do I. I have to be okay with that. Even if I did write it down on my “I will never do” list.

Have you ever said, “If I were the leader…”? If you have, how did you finish that sentence? What actions (or inactions) have you sworn never to do? Share with us those thoughts.

Filed Under: Attitude, Leadership

Leading with Clarity

January 10, 2012 Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I wrote about my desire as a leader to have all the answers. I think this really comes from a need I have for clarity. Does any of this remind you of yourself, or is this just me?

  • At the end of a meeting, I want to know exactly what the next steps are and who is in charge of those steps.
  • I need to know exactly how I am spending my workday.
  • When I have “down time” at home, I think of a million small projects I need to try to take care of.
  • I want to know exactly how to get to where I’m driving at the beginning of my drive, even if it is a 6-hour drive.
  • A meeting without an agenda is a meeting that should be canceled.

Last week, I was facilitating a full day meeting in which I was responsible for the agenda and moving things forward. Within the first five minutes of the meeting, the agenda was completely re-written (which was a good thing since my agenda missed the mark.). I knew going into this project that it would be tough, that there were no easy answers, and that we needed to make progress. However, I didn’t know what progress looked like for this team.

As the meeting progressed, I began to get more worried. Where would we end up? What are we going to be talking about? What are going to be the next steps? As calm as I looked on the exterior, my interior was racking its brain for a solution or two. My emotions were high.

During a break, I shared some of my emotions with one of the team members. I asked him the following question (which was really a question for me): If we walk out of this meeting not knowing what do to, does it make this meeting a waste? His response: trust. Trust? Trust?!?! Come on! Fast forward to the end of the day, we had three specific next steps to move forward. Trust.

Yes, I need clarity in life. Clarity is a great gift. But I learned that day that ambiguity can be a great gift as well. But I did need to trust:

  • Trust the process
  • Trust the team
  • Trust the Holy Spirit

I’ll tell you what – by lunch time that day, I was not trusting any of those things. My desire for clarity trumped trust. Looking back, I realized that trust trumps clarity. As a leader, not all the answers come clearly, but I need to be comfortable in the unknown from time to time.

I just hope that “time to time” does not happen too often!

Filed Under: Attitude Tagged With: ,