Living In Crisis

February 6, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by robinsoncaruso

Have you ever encountered someone who turned everything into a crisis?

I was enjoying lunch with some friends at a restaurant one day, when I overheard an individual at another table sharing how frustrated she was. You could tell she was upset. As I started to listen to her talk about the situation that frustrated her, I couldn’t help but smile a little bit. She spent ten minutes complaining and wondering why people in her office would do such a thing. “It just doesn’t make sense!” she said at one point.

Some of the people who she was talking with started to feed into her frustration by agreeing with her that she should be totally upset and that other people need to pay more attention. It became a frenzied conversation that made everyone at the table upset. They were mad and the problem needed to be fixed.

The problem: some unknown co-worker innocently picked up a Fed Ex box and put it on the counter instead of leaving it on the floor (where I guess it was supposed to be).

Really? In the grand scheme of life, that was a big deal?

This group of people turned the whole situation into a crisis that needed to be dealt with immediately.

Do you know anyone like that?

I think it is really easy to encounter that type of attitude in ministry. There are always individuals who turn molehills into mountains (as the saying goes). That type of attitude doesn’t help anyone. Here are some of the consequences of an attitude like that:

  • It raises our level of frustration higher than it needs to be.
  • It impairs our ability to constructively solve the problem.
  • It lowers morale within our team and ministry.
  • It causes the people around that individual to begin thinking the same way. All of a sudden, the entire team begins to turn every small situation into a crisis.
  • People start to ostracize the person with the negative attitude (that would be my inclination).
  • We begin to focus our time on unimportant issues as opposed to the important ones.
  • It stresses all of us out.

This type of attitude can happen to all of us. I have a natural disposition of positivity, but I sometimes feel negative energy seeping into me at times. Whatever is in me has to come out. There are times that I have let that negative attitude out. Sometimes it is constructive. Sometimes, not so much.

I have to check my attitude daily. Am I making everything a crisis? If I am, how is that effecting my ministry? And I guarantee it does effect it.

Name a time when a situation made you laugh because you knew an individual (or you) was turning a no-big-deal issue into a crisis.

I would love to hear those stories!

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Equipping My Team: I Gotta Do It!

February 2, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by OakleyOriginals

When I sat down for our 6-month review process, one of the things that I put on my list as a number one priority is to continue to mentor and develop my team. I realized that I hadn’t done that well over the past six months (and longer!), but I needed to. I have recognized that the best way to have a great impact in ministry is to spend time helping my team of leaders grow.

It’s not easy.

It is my job and responsibility to develop my team and help them improve as individuals. I not only want them to be rock star ministers, but I want them to be rock stars in all parts of their lives. I am to help them acquire personal qualities that will benefit them in many areas of life, not just their ministry life.

I’m lucky.

When I was in my early 20’s, people who were serious about growing as leaders surrounded me. They taught me a lot of skills, but more importantly, they taught me the attitude of always trying to grow AND to try and help others grow by equipping them.

I can’t expect my team to have been exposed to the same type of experience as I was. Therefore, I should expose them to it now.

This is at the heart of equipping.

Nothing pays bigger dividends than equipping your team. Here are some practical ways I am beginning to help equip my team:

  • Once a month, during our team meeting, we take 30-45 minutes and listen to an audio leadership lesson. Or, I teach a lesson that I’ve been learning recently. Each of these sessions ends with some questions about how to practically apply these lessons to our ministry and our life.
  • I encourage my team to attend a couple conferences or seminars a year. I’ll have some recommendations for them, but I want them to pick them for themselves. If I can, I’ll try to create a budget for this so that my team can go without worrying about the cost.
  • I recommend books for them to read (and sometimes I teach on books that I’ve read). Reading leads to growing. Leaders are readers. My goal would be to help them read at least one book a month that will help them grow.
  • Model personal and professional growth. All this is worthless if I don’t do it myself. I believe these things have helped me become the minister and leader I am today (and recognize that I still have a long way to go). I also believe that it can help my team, so I model it. If I don’t model these things, why would my team?

Developing and equipping my team is truly the most important thing I can do in my ministry.

What do you do to help develop and equip your team?

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Great Video Resource

February 1, 2012 Leave a Comment

For the past six months or so, I have been receiving daily in my email inbox, a video by John C. Maxwell called, “Minute with Maxwell.” These are short videos that have helped me think and get some ideas, while serving as an inspiration as I continue to be involved in leadership in my ministry.

You can sign up to receive these videos free simply by visiting his website.

Here’s a little sample for you. Enjoy!

 

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Growing As a Leader: Intro

January 31, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by abbyladybug

One of the topics that I am passionate about and have written on before is the importance of personal and professional growth. I am passionate about my personal growth because I know that my personal growth plan has had the greatest impact in my life in terms of “success” and adding value to the world through my gifts and strengths. (I put “success” in quotes, knowing full well that we all have a different definition of success. That will be another blog series itself.)

Today, I want to begin a series of blog articles that focus on personal and professional growth. This series will be posted once a week on Tuesday’s for the next few weeks.

When I graduated from college, I was, all of a sudden, on my own. I had no teachers or advisors telling me what to do next. I still had parents giving me “advice,” which I probably should have followed more, but I was free! Free to plan my life the way I wanted to plan it. For me, that meant going into full time ministry.

But it is interesting to note that after college, there is no set plan for the next steps on what to learn. For 22 years of life, my growth plan was clear. It was called elementary school, junior high school, high school, and then college. That was my growth plan. But now that I was 22, I had no growth plan.

And worse yet, I didn’t think I needed one. But I did need one.

I’ve heard numerous leaders and speakers say the following: “Leaders are learners. Leaders are readers. When a leader stops growing, that’s when they stop leading.”

The question that remained after hearing those statements over and over: how do I intentionally grow now that I am out of school?

I’ve been on a personal growth plan for about eight years now, and it has morphed and changed numerous times along the way. I want to share with you my plan in hopes that it might give you some ideas for yourself.

More importantly, I want to hear from you and have you share your ideas. Ideas that work. Maybe even ideas that don’t work.

Over the next few weeks, here are some of the ideas that we’ll be talking about:

  • Reading: why reading, what to read, etc…
  • Filing: Yes, filing. Stories, quotes, lessons. This is a way to save the stuff that has had an impact on my life.
  • Writing and Thinking: I sometimes have to stop doing all the time so I can start thinking. This is about hitting the pause button in life.
  • Conferences/Seminars: Great places to grow and learn.
  • Learning Lunch: Nothing is better than learning, except when there is food to go with it!
  • Reflection time: Experience is not the best teacher. Evaluated experience is. How do we reflect and evaluate our lives so that we can pan the nuggets of wisdom that come from our experience? This is also about hitting the pause button.
  • Growing with Others: It’s always easier when we create a plan with others.

I look forward to you joining me on this journey over the next few weeks. In the meantime, feel free to share with me some specific goals you might have for this series. What specifically are you hoping that I write about?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Signs of a Failing Relationship

January 30, 2012 Leave a Comment

photo by fireflythegreat

When I was in college, I was a resident advisor (RA). My job was to make sure that people were following the rules and not being crazy. It was an interesting job, to say the least.

Living in the dorm where I was the RA, there was one individual who I had an opportunity to connect with and build a relationship. He was a lifeguard, so every time I went to work out in the pool doing my laps, he was there. He was a quality guy and a great potential leader.

Then things started to change. He made friends with people who were less than a positive influence on his life. His behavior became less than ideal and began to get in trouble…with me. This young adult, who I spoke with everyday early in the year, became someone who I had to write up on numerous occasions. Being written up is not a fun process and only happens when people do, well, dumb things.

Naturally, my relationship with him changed. There was even one point that I smiled when I had to write him up. Why, because I knew he deserved it. Certainly, my attitude needed to change. But just as important, my relationship with him was failing.

Relationships are at the heart of ministry. I learned that day that when a relationship fails or is in trouble, there are warning signs that speak loud and clear.

What are those signs of a failed relationship?

  • Avoidance: I was avoiding this young man. I used to be intentional about striking up a conversation with him. Now, if I saw him coming, I would go the other way to avoid an interaction. When we find ourselves in this situation, the relationship is on the rocks.
  • Take pleasure in their mistakes: I’m a nice guy. Really, I am! But the story above shows a side of me that I am not proud of (I was a college student at the time, too!) This young man was really making some big mistakes. My relationship with him had had deteriorated so much that I just smiled and actually enjoyed getting him in trouble. This is not a good place to be.
  • Difficult to affirm them: Part of being a leader is recognizing and praising people when they deserve it. When our relationship with an individual is failing, we find it very difficult to find things to affirm them about. Not that they don’t have affirmable qualities. They do! But I’m not seeing them because my relationship with them is focusing on the negatives.
  • Feeling drained of energy: Every time I encountered this young man, my energy would be drained from me. Life giving relationships are supposed to give life, not suck life out of me! When we start to feel this loss of energy, we need to address the relational issues at hand.

What are other signs that you have experienced in failing relationships?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With:

Leadership Toolkit

January 26, 2012 Leave a Comment

As leaders, we all have to acquire tools for our toolkit that allow us to effectively lead. I stumbled upon this video, featuring Dan Cathy, which describes some of the tools that he has in his toolkit.

What are the tools that you carry in your toolkit as a leader in ministry?

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: ,

When Volunteers Fail

January 25, 2012 Leave a Comment

Have you ever had this experience: A great person becomes a volunteer in your ministry and then does not follow through. He misses meetings. She doesn’t complete the task that was given to her. He flakes out on a lot of things. In the end, you end up doing the things that were assigned to this person.

Frustrating.

So you think to yourself: why is it so hard to find good volunteers? Why can’t she just do what she said she was going to do? I always have to do everything!

Yup. Frustrating.

I can’t control people’s behavior. People will do what they do. But what I have discovered in situations like this is that it’s usually my fault. You heard me right. Someone else not fulfilling their obligations is my fault.

Here’s why:

  • I didn’t set clear expectations. I find that I often bring a volunteer into ministry with a high level of excitement and energy, but I don’t provide enough clarity. When people get excited about the vision of the ministry, it’s easy to get prospective volunteers to jump on board. What I have found helpful is a simple job description that describes the expectations. Time commitment, skills needed, and expected responsibilities. A half page to one page is enough.
  • I didn’t offer enough support. As a leader, I not only need to offer good direction, I need to offer ongoing support. I need to consistently check in with my volunteer team to see how they are doing and what they need from me. This is about servant leadership, which I think is the highest form of leadership. I need to do whatever I can to help my volunteers be successful in their ministry roles.
  • I didn’t offer enough praise. I once heard someone say that the last time most people received applause was at their high school graduation. This means praise and affirmation need to become a daily part of my ministry as a leader. I need to find creative and consistent ways to affirm those that work with me. One caveat: don’t fake the praise. It needs to be authentic.
  • I didn’t properly interview them. That means this volunteer was a wrong fit. These are the types of things that are good to know before I bring a volunteer team member on board, not after they are on board and make mistakes. Never underestimate the power of a simple interview with a volunteer to find out a little about them and see if they are a good fit. The other side of the stone is to invite the prospective volunteer to check out the ministry first before they say yes.

Okay, enough focusing on my mistakes.

What are some things you do to avoid these mistakes?

Filed Under: Equipping Tagged With:

What to Read???

January 23, 2012 2 Comments

Recently, Jon Acuff tweeted about a couple books he was reading this year. His goal is to read 12 non-fiction books by the end of the 2012 (one a month). I think that’s a great goal, and very realistic and manageable.

I make a concerted effort to read 30 minutes a day a book that will help me grow in my leadership and ministry. I’ve had that goal for about eight years now.

Jon Acuff sharing his reading list inspired me to share some of the books I’ve read or will read in 2012. This is obviously not a complete list, as I often find books along the way, but here are some that I think will help me in my ministry.

Quitter, by Jon Acuff (speaking of). This was a great book to read and provides a lot of motivation (no, I’m not going to quit my job in ministry).

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry: From a Strategy of Influence to a Theology of Incarnation, by Andrew Root (youth ministry is a passion of mine and is still one of my primary ministries)

Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, by Jim Collins (I’ve read many of Collins’ books, and I’m looking forward to this one)

They Call Her Pastor: A New Role for Catholic Women, by Ruth Wallace (I’m studying leadership and organizational development for my doctorate program, so this should serve as an interesting read)

Leadership Without Easy Answers, by Ronald Heifetz (Heifitz has written some great books on adaptive leadership)

Mojo: How To Get It, How To Keep It, How To Get It Back If You Lost It, by Marshall Goldsmith (I read another books of his a couple years back, so I’m giving him another try)

 

Lasting Impressions: From Visiting to Belonging, by Mark Waltz (all about engaging people in to church)

 

Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, by Christian Smith (he is the lead researcher of the longitudinal study on youth and religion, and is following these youth as they grow into young adults)

 

What are you reading this year?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Feeling the Love, Again

January 20, 2012 Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I wrote about how powerful it is when a church community “feels the love” when they gather for mass or a ministry program. I shared the “why” to building a community that is strong and vibrant.

Today, we’re going to talk about the “how.” How can you and I build a strong community in our ministry?

The most important step is that we need to realize that building a vibrant community where people are known and cared for takes work. We must create an intentional plan. Too often, we do not create community on purpose. It happens accidently. That’s okay, but creating an intentional plan can make the experience of community even more powerful.

What might that plan include?

  • Training for Hospitality Ministers: Whether it is for mass or a youth night, we must train people what it means to be hospitable. We must train people on how to build a relationship with others. Some people do it naturally well. Most of us need to be trained to do it well. And notice the “ministers” is plural. It should not just be the main leader being the hospitality minister. We need a team!
  • Name Tags: I’m a believer in name tags. How do you distribute name tags at your event? There’s a huge difference between having people sign in at a table and make their own name tag VERSUS being greeted by a hospitality minister by name and having their name tag written for them and handed to them. The latter is much more effective as it builds an initial point of contact with attendees.
  • Food: Nothing brings people together more than food. But it has to be good food!
  • Follow up process: When a new person comes to mass or your ministry program, how do you follow up with them? I can hear the laughing now. “Follow up? What follow up?” Exactly. That’s the point. It’s amazing how a follow up call, email, text, or Facebook message can mean a lot. It shows that we as leaders are paying attention and that we care for them. Think about creating an intentional follow up process.
  • Create downtime in your program: Downtime, breaks, before and after the program or mass; these are the best times for people to just hang out with others and talk about whatever. This is where true and authentic community is built. Unforced hang out time can be a powerful opportunity.
  • Time: Of course, we have to remember that building a vibrant faith community takes time. Give it time. Don’t force it, but provide the opportunity for connecting.

These are some really good ways to creating an intentional plan to building a vibrant community. But these are not the only ideas. So my question for you is…

What other creative and dynamic ideas you would add to this intentional plan?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: ,

Feeling the Love!

January 19, 2012 1 Comment

I was attending our annual Diocesan Professional Development Series for ministry leaders in parishes. The moment I walked in the door, I recognized many folks from across the Diocese of San Jose who are doing great ministry. As I entered the doorway, I didn’t walk more then two steps before getting a huge smile and a hug from a colleague.

Wow! What a way to be welcomed! For fifteen minutes, I spent time going around the lobby of the church saying hello to many friends. We talked kids, football, new haircuts, and food! It was great!

After fifteen minutes, I finally checked in for the workshop, gathered my handouts and name tag, and went inside to begin the series.

I walked in feeling good. I was ready to listen and learn. Why? Not because the subject matter was awesome. (However, the topic was great.) No, I was ready to listen and learn because of the great welcome and community that I felt as we began.

This experience re-confirmed some lessons I’ve been learning recently:

  • People attend church (and church programs) because of the people that are going to be there. That’s primary. The secondary reason people attend is because of the topic (maybe). If people have great relationships with others and they feel welcomed when they arrive, then we can move to the next bullet point…
  • Once people are engaged in the community, they are ready to listen and learn. Growing an Engaged Church, by Albert Winseman, states that “belonging leads to believing.” It’s true! We build community first, then they are ready to learn and believe. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you just come up with the right program and right topic, the people will come. Build the community, then they will come…and learn…and believe.

As I looked around the room, I realized that many of these parish leaders have known each other for years. When they come to any Diocesan event, they not only know that they will get some good resources and learning out of it. They know they are going to gather with good friends. That is a powerful place to be.

How can you and I build a strong community in our ministries?

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