Leadership Toolkit

January 26, 2012 Leave a Comment

As leaders, we all have to acquire tools for our toolkit that allow us to effectively lead. I stumbled upon this video, featuring Dan Cathy, which describes some of the tools that he has in his toolkit.

What are the tools that you carry in your toolkit as a leader in ministry?

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: ,

When Volunteers Fail

January 25, 2012 Leave a Comment

Have you ever had this experience: A great person becomes a volunteer in your ministry and then does not follow through. He misses meetings. She doesn’t complete the task that was given to her. He flakes out on a lot of things. In the end, you end up doing the things that were assigned to this person.

Frustrating.

So you think to yourself: why is it so hard to find good volunteers? Why can’t she just do what she said she was going to do? I always have to do everything!

Yup. Frustrating.

I can’t control people’s behavior. People will do what they do. But what I have discovered in situations like this is that it’s usually my fault. You heard me right. Someone else not fulfilling their obligations is my fault.

Here’s why:

  • I didn’t set clear expectations. I find that I often bring a volunteer into ministry with a high level of excitement and energy, but I don’t provide enough clarity. When people get excited about the vision of the ministry, it’s easy to get prospective volunteers to jump on board. What I have found helpful is a simple job description that describes the expectations. Time commitment, skills needed, and expected responsibilities. A half page to one page is enough.
  • I didn’t offer enough support. As a leader, I not only need to offer good direction, I need to offer ongoing support. I need to consistently check in with my volunteer team to see how they are doing and what they need from me. This is about servant leadership, which I think is the highest form of leadership. I need to do whatever I can to help my volunteers be successful in their ministry roles.
  • I didn’t offer enough praise. I once heard someone say that the last time most people received applause was at their high school graduation. This means praise and affirmation need to become a daily part of my ministry as a leader. I need to find creative and consistent ways to affirm those that work with me. One caveat: don’t fake the praise. It needs to be authentic.
  • I didn’t properly interview them. That means this volunteer was a wrong fit. These are the types of things that are good to know before I bring a volunteer team member on board, not after they are on board and make mistakes. Never underestimate the power of a simple interview with a volunteer to find out a little about them and see if they are a good fit. The other side of the stone is to invite the prospective volunteer to check out the ministry first before they say yes.

Okay, enough focusing on my mistakes.

What are some things you do to avoid these mistakes?

Filed Under: Equipping Tagged With:

What to Read???

January 23, 2012 2 Comments

Recently, Jon Acuff tweeted about a couple books he was reading this year. His goal is to read 12 non-fiction books by the end of the 2012 (one a month). I think that’s a great goal, and very realistic and manageable.

I make a concerted effort to read 30 minutes a day a book that will help me grow in my leadership and ministry. I’ve had that goal for about eight years now.

Jon Acuff sharing his reading list inspired me to share some of the books I’ve read or will read in 2012. This is obviously not a complete list, as I often find books along the way, but here are some that I think will help me in my ministry.

Quitter, by Jon Acuff (speaking of). This was a great book to read and provides a lot of motivation (no, I’m not going to quit my job in ministry).

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry: From a Strategy of Influence to a Theology of Incarnation, by Andrew Root (youth ministry is a passion of mine and is still one of my primary ministries)

Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, by Jim Collins (I’ve read many of Collins’ books, and I’m looking forward to this one)

They Call Her Pastor: A New Role for Catholic Women, by Ruth Wallace (I’m studying leadership and organizational development for my doctorate program, so this should serve as an interesting read)

Leadership Without Easy Answers, by Ronald Heifetz (Heifitz has written some great books on adaptive leadership)

Mojo: How To Get It, How To Keep It, How To Get It Back If You Lost It, by Marshall Goldsmith (I read another books of his a couple years back, so I’m giving him another try)

 

Lasting Impressions: From Visiting to Belonging, by Mark Waltz (all about engaging people in to church)

 

Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, by Christian Smith (he is the lead researcher of the longitudinal study on youth and religion, and is following these youth as they grow into young adults)

 

What are you reading this year?

Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

Feeling the Love, Again

January 20, 2012 Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I wrote about how powerful it is when a church community “feels the love” when they gather for mass or a ministry program. I shared the “why” to building a community that is strong and vibrant.

Today, we’re going to talk about the “how.” How can you and I build a strong community in our ministry?

The most important step is that we need to realize that building a vibrant community where people are known and cared for takes work. We must create an intentional plan. Too often, we do not create community on purpose. It happens accidently. That’s okay, but creating an intentional plan can make the experience of community even more powerful.

What might that plan include?

  • Training for Hospitality Ministers: Whether it is for mass or a youth night, we must train people what it means to be hospitable. We must train people on how to build a relationship with others. Some people do it naturally well. Most of us need to be trained to do it well. And notice the “ministers” is plural. It should not just be the main leader being the hospitality minister. We need a team!
  • Name Tags: I’m a believer in name tags. How do you distribute name tags at your event? There’s a huge difference between having people sign in at a table and make their own name tag VERSUS being greeted by a hospitality minister by name and having their name tag written for them and handed to them. The latter is much more effective as it builds an initial point of contact with attendees.
  • Food: Nothing brings people together more than food. But it has to be good food!
  • Follow up process: When a new person comes to mass or your ministry program, how do you follow up with them? I can hear the laughing now. “Follow up? What follow up?” Exactly. That’s the point. It’s amazing how a follow up call, email, text, or Facebook message can mean a lot. It shows that we as leaders are paying attention and that we care for them. Think about creating an intentional follow up process.
  • Create downtime in your program: Downtime, breaks, before and after the program or mass; these are the best times for people to just hang out with others and talk about whatever. This is where true and authentic community is built. Unforced hang out time can be a powerful opportunity.
  • Time: Of course, we have to remember that building a vibrant faith community takes time. Give it time. Don’t force it, but provide the opportunity for connecting.

These are some really good ways to creating an intentional plan to building a vibrant community. But these are not the only ideas. So my question for you is…

What other creative and dynamic ideas you would add to this intentional plan?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: ,

Feeling the Love!

January 19, 2012 1 Comment

I was attending our annual Diocesan Professional Development Series for ministry leaders in parishes. The moment I walked in the door, I recognized many folks from across the Diocese of San Jose who are doing great ministry. As I entered the doorway, I didn’t walk more then two steps before getting a huge smile and a hug from a colleague.

Wow! What a way to be welcomed! For fifteen minutes, I spent time going around the lobby of the church saying hello to many friends. We talked kids, football, new haircuts, and food! It was great!

After fifteen minutes, I finally checked in for the workshop, gathered my handouts and name tag, and went inside to begin the series.

I walked in feeling good. I was ready to listen and learn. Why? Not because the subject matter was awesome. (However, the topic was great.) No, I was ready to listen and learn because of the great welcome and community that I felt as we began.

This experience re-confirmed some lessons I’ve been learning recently:

  • People attend church (and church programs) because of the people that are going to be there. That’s primary. The secondary reason people attend is because of the topic (maybe). If people have great relationships with others and they feel welcomed when they arrive, then we can move to the next bullet point…
  • Once people are engaged in the community, they are ready to listen and learn. Growing an Engaged Church, by Albert Winseman, states that “belonging leads to believing.” It’s true! We build community first, then they are ready to learn and believe. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you just come up with the right program and right topic, the people will come. Build the community, then they will come…and learn…and believe.

As I looked around the room, I realized that many of these parish leaders have known each other for years. When they come to any Diocesan event, they not only know that they will get some good resources and learning out of it. They know they are going to gather with good friends. That is a powerful place to be.

How can you and I build a strong community in our ministries?

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With:

Pass the Football

January 18, 2012 Leave a Comment

Well, it is NFL playoff time, and I feel that it is time to talk about football on my blog. And no, I’m not writing about Tim Tebow. But, I am super excited about the San Francisco 49ers! After all, I do live in the SF Bay Area.

I’ve discovered that as people look to you as a leader, they begin to bring more issues and concerns to you. It is part of being a leader. We have greater responsibility as our ministry grows and we train more team members and volunteers.

I heard one author describe this as being passed the football. Usually, when a running back is handed the football by their quarterback, they don’t give the ball back and tell the QB to run with it. Similarly, when a QB passes the ball to a wide receiver, you never see them pass the ball back to the QB (maybe on rare occasions. Those are always cool plays to see!)

In leadership, it happens… all the time! As a leader, you and I pass the ball to one of our team members to make something happen, whether that be to develop a youth ministry night, run a meeting, or create a marketing plan for your ministry. Sometimes, that team member passes the ball right back to you.

And what do you and I do when we get the ball back? We run with it!

STOP!

I’m suggesting that we don’t run with it. I’m suggesting that we need to pass it back to our team member. Why?

  • It equips the team member: They passed the ball back because they didn’t know how to do it or they lacked confidence in themselves. If we run with the ball, they won’t learn. We need to give them the skills and confidence they need to do it and do it right. This is about developing them as a leader. Give the ball back!
  • You don’t have the time: Okay, maybe you do. But the fact of the matter is that at some point, you want to move on to develop other projects and ideas. Passing the ball back to your team member frees you up to develop those areas. Give the ball back!
  • You’ll feel good: Just like a proud parent, when you see someone you trained and developed excel in their ministry, it makes us feel good, like we accomplished something cool. You did accomplish something cool! Keep doing it. Give the ball back!
  • They’ll feel good: They just did something cool. Their confidence will soar. They’ll want to do more because they know they can. Give the ball back!

As a quarterback, when you give the football to a team member, expect them to run with it and don’t take the ball back!

Share a time when you gave the ball back.

Filed Under: Equipping Tagged With:

The Launch of REAL Ministry

January 17, 2012 4 Comments

I won’t lie! I’m very excited! Today, I launch the new branding and website for my ministry, REAL Ministry!

If you’ve been following my posts for any segment of time, you know that my passion is to develop leaders in ministry so that we can have a greater impact on the people that God has called us to serve. Everything from blog reflections to workshops, everything we do here is geared to help you (and me) become better leaders!

I believe that R E A L is the foundational acrostic building blocks that help all of us do what we do in ministry, and do it well.

  • Relationships: All ministry is founded on the ability to work with and serve people. That can only be done by being intentional about developing relationships with staff, volunteers, and those we serve.
  • Equipping: We cannot do it all ourselves. Equipping other leaders, both volunteers and staff, is required so that we can multiply our efforts and work.
  • Attitude: Would you rather work with people who have a positive attitude or a negative one? Positive, of course. As simple as this sounds, we must choose every day to have a positive attitude of personal growth and empowerment.
  • Leadership: As John C. Maxwell often states, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” Therefore, we must grow our leadership potential to have the impact we are hoping for in our organizations.

I hope that my ministry and this website will continue to be a resource for you. And if you ever have ideas around REAL Ministry, please share them with me. I especially would love to hear topics within REAL Ministry that would be helpful to you as a ministry leader.

I want to help! Let’s continue this journey of ministry leadership together!

I want to take this time to personally thank two people who helped get me to this point in launching the website:

  • Shirlene Do helped me determine that a new branding and logo for my ministry was necessary. When I started to share with her about REAL Ministry, she jumped all over it and immediately helped me create a vision for this that was bigger than my thoughts alone could create. She did all the website work to make it look and feel the way it is. She is a great writer and you can see her great work at www.ficklefaith.com (honest and real stories about her faith journey) and www.youmeandfivebucks.com (artistic and witty reflections on life, family, and anything else that you might talk about at a coffee shop.) Thanks for all your hard work, Shirlene!
  • Steve Do helped create the new logo for REAL Ministry and I love it! It’s simple, clean, and focuses on the idea that R E A and L are the building blocks for successful ministry. Steve can be found at www.stevedo.org. And yes, Steve and Shirlene are married (and great friends to me and my family!)
Filed Under: Attitude, Equipping, Leadership, Relationships Tagged With:

If I were the leader…

January 13, 2012 Leave a Comment

Have you ever just shook your head as you received a communication from a ministry leader or saw a leader do something that you thought to yourself, “why”? I can. Many times. Sometimes my “why” turned in to, “What were they thinking?” Then, I immediately say to myself, “I will never do that as a leader.” In fact, a couple years ago, I started making a list of those things that I swore I would never do. Come on, be honest. Have you ever said, “If I was the leader, I would do this or not do that. If I was the leader, everything would be better. If I was the leader, I would be a better leader than others.” Well, that’s an awfully self-serving and un-humble thing to say. Not to mention, not very Jesus-like. But, I’ve said it.

Then, I became a leader in ministry and, wa-la! Like magic, I did the same things that I swore I would never do! Why?

  • My perspective changes: When we become leaders, we have a different perspective. Sometimes, we see things that others do not see or understand. We make a decision based on that perspective. It may be right or wrong, but the fact is that your perspective changes and informs every decision you make.
  • We distance ourselves: Not purposely. Any leadership position can sometimes remove us from the people we are meant to serve. The solution is to try and always stay grounded. I have to get outside of my ivory tower and be with the people. Just because I have a certain title does not give me permission to not stay connected with those that are ministering on the ground floor with and for me.
  • We make mistakes: There were times when I’ve said, “what were they thinking?”, that it was clear the leader I was talking about made a mistake. We don’t want or expect our leaders to make mistakes. But, they do because they are human. So do I. Being a leader does not mean we have all encompassing wisdom. Even Solomon made mistakes. So do I. I have to be okay with that. Even if I did write it down on my “I will never do” list.

Have you ever said, “If I were the leader…”? If you have, how did you finish that sentence? What actions (or inactions) have you sworn never to do? Share with us those thoughts.

Filed Under: Attitude, Leadership

Leading with Clarity

January 10, 2012 Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I wrote about my desire as a leader to have all the answers. I think this really comes from a need I have for clarity. Does any of this remind you of yourself, or is this just me?

  • At the end of a meeting, I want to know exactly what the next steps are and who is in charge of those steps.
  • I need to know exactly how I am spending my workday.
  • When I have “down time” at home, I think of a million small projects I need to try to take care of.
  • I want to know exactly how to get to where I’m driving at the beginning of my drive, even if it is a 6-hour drive.
  • A meeting without an agenda is a meeting that should be canceled.

Last week, I was facilitating a full day meeting in which I was responsible for the agenda and moving things forward. Within the first five minutes of the meeting, the agenda was completely re-written (which was a good thing since my agenda missed the mark.). I knew going into this project that it would be tough, that there were no easy answers, and that we needed to make progress. However, I didn’t know what progress looked like for this team.

As the meeting progressed, I began to get more worried. Where would we end up? What are we going to be talking about? What are going to be the next steps? As calm as I looked on the exterior, my interior was racking its brain for a solution or two. My emotions were high.

During a break, I shared some of my emotions with one of the team members. I asked him the following question (which was really a question for me): If we walk out of this meeting not knowing what do to, does it make this meeting a waste? His response: trust. Trust? Trust?!?! Come on! Fast forward to the end of the day, we had three specific next steps to move forward. Trust.

Yes, I need clarity in life. Clarity is a great gift. But I learned that day that ambiguity can be a great gift as well. But I did need to trust:

  • Trust the process
  • Trust the team
  • Trust the Holy Spirit

I’ll tell you what – by lunch time that day, I was not trusting any of those things. My desire for clarity trumped trust. Looking back, I realized that trust trumps clarity. As a leader, not all the answers come clearly, but I need to be comfortable in the unknown from time to time.

I just hope that “time to time” does not happen too often!

Filed Under: Attitude Tagged With: ,

Have All The Answers?

January 9, 2012 2 Comments

A strange thing happened when I was first hired as a full time youth ministry coordinator. As a 22-year-old young adult just out of college, I was hired to be the “expert” in youth ministry for my church. At least, that’s what I thought I was hired for. I came into the parish having all the answers to make youth ministry happen. Parents came to me hoping that if I could just start an awesome youth ministry program, their teenage son or daughter would have faith and start coming to mass again. The Pastor deferred to me when any youth ministry question came up. I was asked to serve on the Liturgy Council so that we could integrate youth more fully into mass. Every where I looked, people were looking to me as the “expert.” I had to have all the answers!

Well, actually, the reality was that I didn’t have very many answers at all. I wanted to have the answers, but I just did not have the experience and wisdom. However, people had an image of me as a leader. I thought I had to live up to that image. So what did I do? I pretended to have all the answers.

Needless to say, that didn’t work out well. It’s funny how when we are giving leadership, people automatically look to us for answers. They think we have the answers. We clearly do not have all the answers. But the pressure is real. I’m no longer the 22-year-old youth minister, but I still feel that very real pressure everyday. So what do we do?

  1. Learn to say “I don’t know.” When someone comes to me asking for guidance and wisdom, I’m always shocked by their response when I say those magical three words. I think they are going to look down on me. The fact is, many people really respect you when you admit that. It takes a humble heart for a leader to admit the truth that they don’t have the answer.
  2. Pray for the answers. There has been a relationship in my life recently that has been strained by something I did. The funny thing is, I had no idea what I did. But I know I did something wrong. I didn’t know what the answer was. After racking my brain for weeks, I finally decided to take it to prayer. I asked God for wisdom and guidance, and to reveal what it was that I did. Almost immediately, the answer came to me. All of a sudden, it became clear what I did wrong. Wow, I thought to myself. I need to take this stuff to prayer more often. Do I think God will reveal the answer to me every time? Absolutely not. But in this situation, it really helped.
  3. Jump off the pedestal. Don’t let people put you on a pedestal. It’s easy to be “raised up” when you are a leader. That’s fine on occasion. But I need to remember that I am serving God in my ministry as a leader, and that helps remind me who really gets all the glory. Jesus was sometimes raised up on a pedestal. He took himself down from there. In the end, Jesus was raised up, but not on a pedestal. He was raised up on the cross.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’m learning as I go.

Filed Under: Attitude Tagged With: